My husband and I have been in the remodeling business for more than a decade, and we have learned first-hand how unpredictable the renovation process can be. Reality television magic, the kind on stations like HGTV, fail to expose the true stress and hardship of the process. Their attempt at dramatic effect, like an unforeseen electrical issue on an already capped budget, is always too cheaply and too quickly resolved. But it is TV after all, and we don’t really want it to run too true to real life or else it wouldn’t be entertaining or enjoyable.
In our business, we’ve learned that there is a myriad of things that can go wrong. From unattainable or delayed materials (a major issue out here in Wyoming), to the lack of competent laborers, to devastating problems with existing structures that are unknown until demo begins, some form of complication is almost a guarantee with each project.
I know this. I know this based on years of experience.
But for reason’s I’ve yet to decipher, the idealistic dreamer in me refuses to acknowledge this reality when approaching renovation projects on my own house.
Every. Single. Time.
Like many other contractor families, we take advantage of the skillsets my husband brings to the table and buy outdated homes or homes in disrepair, for the purpose of updating and revitalizing them while we live there. Not only does it build equity faster, but it also allows us (okay me) free rein over new designs. Much of our current home has been renovated including: a master suite, a basement family room, and an open-concept kitchen/living room on the main floor. However, an important project that has been looming for quite some time is the main floor bathroom—the most-used bathroom in the house. It’s been in bad shape for a while (not to mention ugly) with poor plumbing, tiles falling off the walls and water damage on the baseboard.
This November, my oldest son who plays college basketball a state away, invited a teammate home for Thanksgiving break. I was thrilled to host his friend, but dreaded the thought of this young man using the hideous hall bath. (That yes, I’ve forced my own children to endure for years.) It felt like it was time, and a perfect opportunity to tackle the nasty space. So, I suggested to James my brilliant idea of investing our nights and weekends in fixing up the space with a short 3 weeks before break. I have vague recollections of him trying to talk me out of it, but evidently he wasn’t assertive enough to convince me otherwise (or he knows me too well and knows I can seldom be deterred once I’m convicted). In any case, he graciously complied, enlisted the help of our oldest daughter, and had the bathroom gutted in two days.
In my defense, 3 weeks is a fairly reasonable timeframe to finish a small bathroom, IF you have all the materials. We were so close to having everything that we needed that I felt certain, when we started, that things would go smooth and the project would be wrapped up on time.
But I bet you can guess where this story is headed.
Did the bathroom get finished before Thanksgiving break? No, no it did not. What was the hold up? A few boxes of tile that were delayed nearly 4 weeks. Yep, that was it. We are now a couple short days from Christmas, and the bathroom was finished and usable a week ago. Which means 8 people shared my bathroom over Thanksgiving break and 6 people were forced to share it for almost two months. (I know, I know. First world problems).
No, the point of this story isn’t to complain about the frustrations that can happen in renovation. Nor is it to declare that I’m swearing off idealism or optimism for a pessimistic (or, as a pessimist might say, a “realistic”) approach to things. I think it’s useful and healthy to be honest about our disappointments, but it’s equally important not to let them dictate our future actions or attitudes, or let our discouragement about what didn’t work steal our joy over what did.
Sure, I was disappointed my plan didn’t work. It wasn’t the arrangement or accommodation I desired for our guest. In addition, James and I had to make a lot of adjustments to our routine to facilitate everyone else’s need of our bathroom. It was annoyingly inconvenient for everyone.
That said, there was also a lot of fond memories created in the midst of the inconvenience. My nearly 18-yr-old twins exposed their unrelenting adherence to routine: they would tap on our bedroom door to use the shower at almost the exact same time every day. Their discipline and consistency had me impressed! I was also reminded which of my children enjoy singing in the shower … loudly and unreservedly in their feels. It was hilarious and I enjoyed it very much. Over and over again I was given the opportunity to find joy and gratitude even though it wasn’t the circumstance I envisioned or an easy situation to adjust to.
I began by sharing how educational our business has been, that both James and I have learned a lot in the construction industry.
- Just like any other television genre, reality TV about construction/renovation ISN’T REAL.
- Complications, delays and inconveniences are inevitable.
- Flexibility and patience are a MUST, because things rarely work out as smoothly as you hope.
All lessons I find profoundly applicable in my journey through life as well.
Idealism isn’t my enemy. It’s great to shoot for the impossible, even if you know better, because that energy and investment makes things happen. Dreams turned into action at least get the ball rolling! But I also have to be content, embracing what reality turns out to be, even (and especially) if I miss what I’m aiming at. I have to allow gratitude and joy for what is to grow resilience and determination in me against what isn’t, or the idealistic dreamer in me will wither. And the ability to dream is 1000% worth cultivating and protecting.
So, to any other romantic, sentimental, idealists out there who plan, prepare and dream of creating the perfect ambience, event, memories, or whatever it is you’re aiming towards (the pressure is especially high for those of us during the holiday seasons) take courage! If it doesn’t work precisely how you hoped, it is really okay. Maybe next time it will. But keep dreaming, planning and creating! And don’t forget to enjoy what is present in the meantime.
I love it, cannot wait to see it in person! Isn’t this such a good picture of how life can be, messy, surprises and things we have to wait on. There are things I’m still waiting on but hanging on to the hope that it will come, that’s the challenge. Love you friend❤️
Jackie!!!!! I love it! However, I actually was one who thought it was already finished since I heard several times, “It’s next on our list.” LOL! Your story hits me deeply in an encouraging way in our own long-haul parts of life. I love you much and now need to see the remodel of the finished master bedroom, family room, living room, kitchen AND hall bathroom. I think it’s been too long! Soon and very soon, right! Like, “It’s next on our list” soon.❤️
I actually thought about you all and the current house situation you’re in as we were in the middle of this! Praying things go smoothly for you, and that you’re as happy with the results are we are with our new bathroom. And yes, you need to come by and see all the updates to the place very soon ☺️